Tag Archive: Relationships


Attraction

Maggie Gyllenhaal.

Image via Wikipedia

  • As I penned this letter the dazzling thoughts and threats issued by our local cleric threatened to spin off my mind from its orbit. They claim that love conquers all but I never believed this till I was proven wrong

    Hi my lovely pal. Are you still going on with your studies? Are you okay and healthy? Back here were fine. Our youth fellowship has grown tremendously in number, Beth has since been married to kipyego. Mwenda’s wedding is underway and Maggie’s courtship has been announced.
    Guyz here are trying hard to mend the potholes left on their faith
    Winnie has been querying me about you so much. While chatting she has been praising my ability to seduce even saints-you-by my charming tongue. Alarmingly she had even once sought the said security from me but I don’t want to repeat the same mistake.
    While chatting our minds once went wild and thought of match-mixing she once said that me and you can make great couples but……………
    Anyway am missing you here my friend. The devil that once possessed me has sometimes left me longing for the escapades that we once shared with you
    The purpose of jotting down this letter is to apologize to you, repent, seek forgiveness, reconcile and set up platonic friendship based on mutual respect. Its true I wronged you by flattering you my dear friend. What I said to you was not what I meant. It is sad that I never meant to love you but only attracted to. I was only attracted by you fine and perfect feminal curves and you gave in easily. I am sorry my dear friend
    You never seemed to realize that I only used flattering but touching words when I wanted you at my bed.
    I only treated you well because the holy book requires so. When I realized that our ‘love was merely seasonal I wanted to break the jinx but I had no moral fibber to do so. You portrayed the weakest part of a lady
    My sexual urge surpassed the mutual respect we had been advised by our cleric. Also you easily accepted my cheap nothings without a second thought you might have loved me yes, but I was only interested with what was between your legs. Forgive me for this and please accept reconciliation

    Perhaps winnie was right but its too early to conclude on anything. Although you loved me as your spouse and prepared for our life together in future my case was different darling. I love, adore and care for you as a friend but only attracted to you sexually.
    Undoubtedly your natural appeal is undisputable and striking, your beauty is incomparable and your heart is kind. But am afraid that continuing will only result to more intimate escapades prompting us to call it quits for now
    I have no doubt that soon you’ll get a good man for you or maybe God may do his wonders and rekindle our affair at the right time later.

Protected: LETTER TO ATTRACTION VICTIM

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Friendship

In a comparison of personal relationships, friendship is considered to be closer than association, although there is a range of degrees of intimacy in both friendships and associations. Friendship and association can be thought of as spanning across the same continuum. The study of friendship is included in the fields of sociology, social psychology, anthropology, philosophy, and zoology. Various academic theories of friendship have been proposed, among which are social exchange theory, equity theory, relational dialectics, and attachment styles.

Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating the following on a consistent basis:

  • The tendency to desire what is best for the other
  • Sympathy and empathy
  • Honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one’s counterpart
  • Mutual understanding and compassion
  • Trust in one another (able to express feelings – including in relation to the other’s actions – without the fear of being judged); able to go to each other for emotional support
  • Positive reciprocity – a relationship is based on equal give and take between the two parties.

Cultural variations

Ancient Rome

Roman philosopher Cicero believed that in order to have a true friendship with someone one must have complete honesty, truth and trust. Also, friends do things for each other without expectation of repayment. If a friend is about to do something wrong, one should not compromise one’s morals. One should explain what is wrong about the action, and help one’s friend understand what is right, because Cicero believed that ignorance is the cause of evil.Rus

In Russia, one typically accords very few people the status of “friend”. These friendships, however, make up in intensity what they lack in number.[citation needed] Friends are entitled to call each other by their first names alone, and to use diminutives. A norm of polite behavior is addressing “acquaintances” by full first name plus patronymic.[1] These could include relationships which elsewhere would be qualified as real friendships, such as workplace relationships of long standing, or neighbors with whom one shares an occasional meal or customary drink of vodka.

Asia

In the Middle East and Central Asia, male friendships, while less restricted than in Russia, tend also to be reserved and respectable in nature. They may use nick names and diminutive forms of their first names. In countries like India, it is believed in some parts that friendship is a form of respect, not born out of fear or superiority. Friends are people who are equal in most standards, but still respect each other irrespective of their attributes or shortcomings.

Decline of friendships in the U.S.

According to a study documented in the June 2006 issue of the journal American Sociological Review, Americans are thought to be suffering a loss in the quality and quantity of close friendships since at least 1985.[2][3] The study states 25% of Americans have no close confidants, and the average total number of confidants per citizen has dropped from four to two.

According to the study:

  • Americans’ dependence on family as a safety net went up from 57% to 80%
  • Americans’ dependence on a partner or spouse went up from 5% to 9%
  • Research has found a link between fewer friendships (especially in quality) and psychological and physiological regression

In recent times, it is postulated modern American friendships have lost the force and importance they had in antiquity. C. S. Lewis for example, in his The Four Loves, writes:

To the Ancients, Friendship seemed the happiest and most fully human of all loves; the crown of life and the school of virtue. The modern world, in comparison, ignores it. We admit of course that besides a wife and family a man needs a few ‘friends’. But the very tone of the admission, and the sort of acquaintanceships which those who make it would describe as ‘friendships’, show clearly that what they are talking about has very little to do with that Philía which Aristotle classified among the virtues or that Amicitia on which Cicero wrote a book.[4]

Developmental issues

In the sequence of the emotional development of the individual, friendships come after parental bonding and before the pair bonding engaged in at the approach of maturity. In the intervening period between the end of early childhood and the onset of full adulthood, friendships are often the most important relationships in the emotional life of the adolescent, and are often more intense than relationships later in life.[5] However making friends seems to trouble lots of people; having no friends can be emotionally damaging in some cases. Friendships play a key role in suicidal thoughts of girls.[6]

A study by researchers from Purdue University found that post-secondary-education friendships (e.g. college, university) last longer than the friendships before it.[7]

Children with Asperger syndrome have some difficulty forming friendships. Types of friendshi

Acquaintance: a friend, but sharing of emotional ties isn’t present. An example would be a coworker with whom you enjoy eating lunch or having coffee, but would not look to for emotional support. Many “friends” that appear on social networking sites are generally acquaintances in real life.

Best friend (or close friend): A person with whom someone shares extremely strong interpersonal ties with as a friend.

BFF (“best friend forever”): Slang used primarily in the USA by teenage and young adult women to describe a girl friend or close best friend.

Blood brother or blood sister: Either people related by birth, or a circle of friends who swear loyalty by mingling the blood of each member together.

Boston marriage: An antiquated American term used during the nineteenth and twentieth centuries to denote two women who lived together in the same household independent of male support. Relationships were not necessarily sexual. It was used to quell fears of lesbians after World War I.

Bro: Slang used primarily in the USA and New Zealand by teenage and young adult men to describe a boy friend or close best friend.

Buddy: In the USA, males and sometimes females often refer to each other as “buddies”, for example, introducing a male friend as their “buddy”, or a circle of male friends as “buddies”. Buddies are also acquaintances that you have during certain events. The term may also refer to an online contact, such as the AOL Buddy List.

Casual relationship or “friends with benefits”: A sexual or near-sexual and emotional relationship between two people who don’t expect or demand to share a formal romantic relationship. This is also referred to an open relationship or a “hook-up”.

Family friend: A friendship extended to family members of the friends. Close relation is developed in those societies where family setup is strong. This term usually used in subcontinent.

Comrade: Means “ally”, “friend”, or “colleague” in a military or (usually) left-wing political connotation. This is the feeling of affinity that draws people together in time of war or when people have a mutual enemy or even a common goal. Friendship can be mistaken for comradeship. Former New York Times war correspondent Chris Hedges wrote:

We feel in wartime comradeship. We confuse this with friendship, with love. There are those, who will insist that the comradeship of war is love – the exotic glow that makes us in war feel as one people, one entity, is real, but this is part of war’s intoxication. [...] Friends are predetermined; friendship takes place between men and women who possess an intellectual and emotional affinity for each other. But comradeship – that ecstatic bliss that comes with belonging to the crowd in wartime – is within our reach. We can all have comrades.[8]

As a war ends, or a common enemy recedes, many comrades return to being strangers, who lack friendship and have little in common.

Cross-sex friendship: A person having a friend of the opposite sex with having little or no sexual or romantic activity: a male who has a female friend, or a female who has a male friend. Historically cross-sex friendships have been rare. This is because often men would labor in order to support themselves and their family, while women stayed at home and took care of the housework and children. The lack of contact led to men forming friendships exclusively with their colleagues, and women forming friendships with other stay at home mothers. However, as women attended schools more and as their presence in the workplace increased, the segregated friendship dynamic was altered, and cross-sex friendships began to increase. Cross sex friendships has once been a sign of gender deviance, but now it has been loosened because of the increase of gender equality in schools and the workplace, along with certain interests and pastimes such as sports.

However, cross-sex friendships aren’t always a socially accepted norm of amity and some of those friendships could develop into romantic feelings (see romantic friendship). However, when these feelings are not mutual, they can often backfire, making it hard for the two to remain friends.

Frenemy: A portmanteau of the words fr(iend) and enemy, the term frenemy refers to someone who pretends to be a friend but actually is an enemy—a proverbial wolf in sheep’s clothing in the world of friendships. This is also known as a love-hate relationship. Most people have encountered a frenemy at one time or another in the same places one might find friends – school, work, the neighborhood. The term frenemy was reportedly coined by a sister of author and journalist Jessica Mitford in 1977, and popularized more than twenty years later on the third season of Sex and the City. While most research on friendship and health has focused on the positive relationship between the two, a frenemy is a potential source of irritation and stress. One study by psychologist Dr. Julianne Holt-Lunstad found that unpredictable love-hate relationships characterized by ambivalence can lead to elevations in blood pressure. In a previous study, the same researcher found that blood pressure is higher around friends for whom they have mixed feelings than it is when they’re around people whom they clearly dislike.[9]

Fruit flies,[10] fag hag (female),[11] or fag stag (male):[12] denotes a person (usually heterosexual) who forms deep ties or close friendships with gay men. Men (gay or straight) who have lesbian friends have been referred to lezbros or lesbros.[13] The term has often been claimed by these straight members in gay-straight friendships, however some feel that it is derogatory.[14][15]

Imaginary friend: a non-physical friend created by a child or some person who has some mental or social illness, such as schizophrenia. Imaginary friends are also created for people in desperate of social interaction but is isolated from contact with humans and pets. It may be seen as bad behavior or even taboo (some religious parents even consider their child to be possessed by an evil “spirit”), but is most commonly regarded as harmless, typical childhood behavior. The friend may or may not be human, and commonly serves a protective purpose.

Internet relationship: a form of friendship or romance which takes place over the Internet. Some internet friendships evolve into real life friendships. Internet friendships are in similar context to a pen pal.

Mate: In the UK, Ireland, Australia, and New Zealand, blokes often refer to each other as ‘mates’, for example, introducing a male friend as their “mate”, or a circle of male friends as “mates”. In the UK, as well as Australia, this term has begun to be taken up by women as well as men.

Open relationship: a relationship, usually between two people, that agree each partner is free to have sexual intercourse with others outside the relationship. When this agreement is made between a married couple, it’s called an “open marriage”.

Pen pal: people who have a relationship via postal correspondence. Now pen pals has been established into internet friendship with the use of chat or social networking sites. They may or may not have met each other in person and may share either love, friendship, or simply an acquaintance between each other.Friendship and he

The conventional wisdom is that good friendships enhance an individual’s sense of happiness and overall well-being. But a number of solid studies support the notion that strong social supports improve a woman’s prospects for good health and longevity. Conversely, it has been shown that loneliness and lack of social supports are linked to an increased risk of heart disease, viral infections, and cancer as well as higher mortality rates. Two female researchers have even termed friendship networks a “behavioral vaccine” that protects both physical and mental health.[16]

While there is an impressive body of research linking friendship and health status, the precise reasons for this connection are still far from clear. Most of the studies are large prospective studies (that follow people over a period of time) and while there may be a correlation between the two variables (friendship and health status), researchers still don’t know if there is a cause-and-effect relationship, e.g. that good friendships actually improve health.

There are a number of theories that attempt to explain the link, including that: 1) Good friends encourage their friends to lead more healthy lifestyles; 2) Good friends encourage their friends to seek help and access services, when needed; 3) Good friend enhance their friend’s coping skills in dealing with illness and other health problems; and/or 4) Good friends actually affect physiological pathways that are protective of health.[17]Love

See also: Marriage

Love is closely related to friendship in that it involves strong interpersonal ties between two or more people. Being in a relationship with someone usually means you are very close and you can confide in each other

In terms of interpersonal relationships, there are two distinct types of love:

  1. Platonic love: is a deep and non-romantic connection or friendship between two individuals. It is love where the sexual element does not enter.
  2. Romance (love): considered similar to Platonic love, but involves sexual elements.

Engaging in a romantic relationship can change the dynamics of a platonic relantionship; in the event of a break-up, close friends who become romantically involved may experience difficulty in successfully resuming a comfortable friendship.Non-personal friendsh

Although the term initially described relations between individuals, it is at times used for political purposes to describe relations between states or peoples (the “Franco-German friendship“, for example), indicating in this case an affinity or mutuality of purpose between the two nations.

Regarding this aspect of international relations, Lord Palmerston said:

Therefore I say that it is a narrow policy to suppose that this country or that is to be marked out as the eternal ally or the perpetual enemy of England. We have no eternal allies, and we have no perpetual enemies. Our interests are eternal and perpetual, and those interests it is our duty to follow.[18]

This is often paraphrased as: “Nations have no permanent friends and no permanent enemies. Only permanent interests.”

The word “friendship” can be used in political speeches as an emotive modifier. Friendship in international relationships often refers to the quality of historical, existing, or anticipated bilateral relationships.

Interspecies friendship and animal friendship

Friendship as a type of interpersonal relationship is found also among animals of higher intelligence, such as the higher mammals and some birds. Cross-species friendships are common between humans and domestic animals. Less common but noteworthy are friendships between an animal and another animal of a different species, such as a dog and cat

this a property of wikipedia.com

this blog has right to edit any external article in order to meet our ethics

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.